I actually regret not blogging for the past year. The months that have passed have been nothing short of amazing. It has been unbelievable to have experienced so much. As I skimmed through my old posts, I really feel like that young girl would listen in awe if I told her what she will go through. In a span of a just a couple of years, university can transform your appearance, outlook, philosophy, passions and you.
How I miss drawing beautiful imaginations inside my tattered but beloved sketchbook, and writing utterly emo poems.
I cannot deny I would not give back what the UK life has given to me. It is as if I picked a particularly ugly piece of shell by the sea and kept it in my pocket and brought it home only to slowly realize as the days go by that there is beauty and knowledge in every single thing God has created. That ultimate feeling of pleasure in life is what we live for.
It is these kinds of feelings that I have to keep reminding myself to not forget. Because no matter what, something which I like to call the Everyday will eventually find a way to pull you down one way or another. A hurtful misunderstanding with someone you care about, a plummeting of self-esteem, a sense of dread at looming deadlines etc.
But I try hard to tell myself to fuck the Everyday and its problems. It's a constant wave trying so hard to grab my heart and with it my hopes and fears and swallow them into the deep. Life gets scarier as you get older. Bloody fucking scary. I won't stop trying.
I'll remind myself to try to blog more.
I have come to appreciate the idea of a cyber diary
where I can look back one day
and see how I have evolved.
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