sweet words of hate

i look at her.

a few years younger than me, even younger than you.

hell, that makes a lot of difference.

innocent. pretty yet plain.

just another one of your victims.

i am really not surprised.

none of my business, but just slightly angry.

she obviously has no faults to pick with you.

your oversized ego just towers over her.

her and her submissive character.

everybody just wants a little lovin'.

i don't call what you give her love.

why

why

why do you like to pull people down so much?

aren't we as human beings suppose to fulfill the best of our capacities on this earth?

isn't that what differentiates us from animals?

you are a pig.

it is unbelievable how you haven't changed a single bit over the years.

the rest of us...

...we found lives and moved on.

fooled her at the beginning, didn't you?

flatter her.

praise her.

glorify her.

then bam.

harsher than harsh words.

craving more attention like a child that hasn't been fed.

in your case, a starving ego.

i know this for sure

no matter how low you pull her down

she will never

never

never

ever

ever

reach

your

level.

and so

having a massive massive stomach ache. no panadol for relief. feeling a mixture of hunger and no appetite due to pain. heck, how is that even fucking possible? i'm hungry but i don't feel like eating. googling the symptoms didn't help. 'colon cancer' popped out. very common in women. ouch. screw that. i decided that blogging might distract my mind.

there's just a wee bit of time until my first exam which is Politics and popular culture in modern Japan. i did managed to cover some things here and there; hopefully just enough for a pass. i noticed it gets harder and harder to force your brain to study as you go up the academic ladder. O-level was alright. A-level was bearable. Degree is just... why-is-this-shit-so-hard-i-just-wanna-lie-in-my-bed-all-day-watching-streamed-movies-and-eat-food-that-makes-me-lazier. you feeling me here? ;)

but don't get me all wrong. i do care. i am caring enough to the point of stressing out. stress can cause an abundance of things nowadays. its so friggin unhealthy to be stressed that bad skin, headaches, acne etc are attributed to stress as well as a poor diet. exam stress and crappy diets, hmmm show me a student who doesn't suffer even mildly from those two.

and i miss my boyfriend. he is sleeping over at a friend's place. i had a good laugh when he told me he got hooked on the Tudors and now he's got his friend hooked on the Tudors as well. they should be, that show is absolutelyfuckin amazing. i like how they make Jonathan Rhys Meyers aged 'gracefully'.

tummy still killing me. getting harder to ignore.

i like my salmon nicely cooked and not raw. kthanxbye. xx

shot glass theory

i am about to embark on one hell of a journey...

dramatic star wars theme music

...nah just kidding. first ever uni exams starts in less than two weeks. have no choice but to hit the books, online journals etc. i worship Google Scholar, despite how annoying it is sometimes when you cannot access the article you want. nevertheless, its still Google - only more smarter and properly referenced.

speaking of references, there is one thing i would like to point out. i'm sure many university students have been warned not to use Wikipedia as it is considered 'academically dubious'; but it is amusing when i think back and remembered that a majority of the English Literature A Level notes my teacher gave me were from Wikipedia. Heck, even using Spark notes was encouraged.

Too lazy to argue and debate about something as 'trivial' as this, i'm just gonna say that Wikipedia is a good place to start off. Avoid copying chunks of it and you'll be fine. i'll leave it to the enthusiastic bipolar members of the discussion forums to decide. cheers. x